So Lost, Feel Like Home (Prod. Instinct)

… hold up… listen… imma give you a closed up... of this benevolent grownup... and the key to decode what I throw up, if it doesn't make you throw up… … what I’m not in control of… I don’t trust myself when I'm like this… covered in Silence, pitch black, sightless… unarmed against a formless opponent, my fight with the Demons that i keep deep inside, want to be free to ride, while i... try not to let them… keep getting the evil eye, begging me; don’t even try… Won’t settle… … so i keep my mind occupied, all the time, deflecting all the influence, neg- lecting everything else, caught in a cycle where I’m perfecting on the continuance... so In to it… feeling addicted to the victimhood of the sickness that im sticking to, Feeling blue, my worst enemy with my black eyes, awakening the fear in you, you can Feel it too… keep your distance, or feel the consequence, I’m different, and my ex- Sistance can be hateful, if your not resistant we can’t coexist, I’m too per sistant… my systems wired to wile out, flying high when I time out, getting Rhymes out of this dry mouth, about the demons i try to drive out… That’s what I’m bout... and why I hide out… I’m protecting you from me… See? I’m a Beast when I’m overcome… Feared… and I’m not letting you come near… Dear… … really low… no, really tho… believe me… you don’t want to be me, so eeary… the way you see me is not the real me… and your affection is creepy, what’s your Deal b? I’d rather let you eat me, then heal me… Straight shooter, i mean what I say, and I say what I mean, see? You don’t want to need me… I’m in Free fall… clueless on how to do this, feeling stupid and useless… going Through this, no excuses, digging through memories for what induced this, with No luck… stuck in the misery while my loved ones missing me… feeling History… lost my way as a magi, confused by the mystery, playing tricks on me, picks on me… abusive… stones and sticks on me… throwing blows and kicks on me… Says it just wanna help before it quits on me, growing Sick of me… Trips me when I’m closest to victory… Just picture me Slipping, slippery… my injuries crippling, bitterly belittling me… ... can’t shake it, break it or even fake it, I... just got to face it, my... Faith is sealed, like the cage in my conscience basement, with the rage filled hatred, … That i’ve created… for a purpose that’s unknown to me, I’m unknowingly, Hanging on to what’s slowing me, It’s grip opposingly holding on, potently… … Screaming in my pillow, dealing with my anger issues, peacefully… I’m all you People see, and more… but I’m deceitfully keeping secrets, can’t see through me… … curtains closed… searching code… trying to lift this curse alone, in the Fight of my life, for my life… No room for the both of us, he’ll be the first to go… i promis…